Editors Note: The following is (supposedly) based on actual events. Roscoe Tosscobble has agreed to let me post tales of his Travels on the condition that I leave them unaltered in any way. Please forgive Roscoe for any spelling or grammar errors, as he is a busy man having many adventures. ~InkLikeUrine
The Oaken Box of Doom Part I: Of Gnomes and Men
Once, not so very long ago, the dashing, inter dimensional time-traveler, half ling Roscoe Tosscobble saved a gnome from evil followers of shadow. The Gnome, bleeding profusely, begged Roscoe for his help upon recognizing his face and knowing that Roscoe was just the sort of man the Gnome needed. After absconding the gnome to safety, Roscoe was tasked with delivering an oaken box filled with dark and powerful magic to the elven queen, unopened. As the gnome lay bleeding in Roscoe’s arms, a dozen assassins burst into the room demanding the box! Roscoe rallied his friends — a mortal undead raised by the Lich King himself, a half-man half-monkey Monk, a powerful wizard, a fairy of unsettling stature, and a once elemental human– and dealt with them in a swift and heroic manner. To cover their leaders’ escape the rest of the assassins, those not swiftly dealt with at least, set fire to the tavern Roscoe and friends were hiding the gnome in.
In a bit of clever thinking, Roscoe managed to put out the fire using little more than a half full waterskin, a feather pillow, and some tacks. After saving the patrons of the tavern that the assassins had set aflame, the party set forth to secure the leader and bring him to a swift and bloody justice. However, during the fight, Roscoe was forced to sacrifice his trusty grappling hook while giving chase the nefarious assassin leader in order to save is monkey monk friend, letting the terrible assassin escape. After the daring rescue, and a brief breather for his comrades, Roscoe and party set out to meet with the elven queen. But first, they would need to reach the dwarven city of Anvil, and travel its long underground tunnel.
Will Roscoe and friends reach the city of Anvil unscathed? What of the assassin leader? What on earth is in the box? Will Roscoe ever find another trusty grappling hook? Find out the answers to these questions and more in next weeks edition of ROSCOE TOSSCOBBLE, GENTLEMAN ADVENTURER!