The Adventures of Roscoe Tosscobble Presents: The Oaken Box of Doom Part III: Dungeons, Dealings, and Dwarfs

Editors Note: The following is (supposedly) based on actual events. Roscoe Tosscobble has agreed to let me post tales of his Travels on the condition that I leave them unaltered in any way. Please forgive Roscoe for any spelling or grammar errors, as he is a busy man having many adventures. ~InkLikeUrine

The Oaken Box of Doom Part III: Dungeons, Dealings, and Dwarfs

After escaping the dastardly drow by way of the cave network below the watchtower, Roscoe and party found a small chamber in the caverns below, and decided to take a rest. Sleeping through the night, the party awoke at the sounds of scuttling, upon investigation, the party discovered a young elf maiden by the name of Nimue who was seeking Roscoe’s aid. Roscoe grew suspicious, women like Roscoe, but rarely seek him out without ill intent…. However, she appeared in genuine need of help, so the part took her in, and they set about finding a way to Anvil.

Traveling through the caves beneath the tower, the party met a beardless dwarf by the name of Drasun Finkleborn III, whom had an edge to his eyes and a bit of nose powder in his pocket. Roscoe convinced the part to follow Drasun, and after short order they met some dastardly thugs who he happened to have stolen from. Escaping the thugs with a simple but entrancing tune from 2077 on his harmonica, Drasun began leading the party through the dungeon in earnest. After a few days, with the party tired and hungry, Drasun, the fiend, tried to extort an exuberant amount of money from Roscoe and his party. After some “aggressive negotiations” Roscoe ends up shooting him in the leg and persuading Drasun to see reason, while holding a knife to his throat. With the promise of pain should Drasun try to double cross Roscoe, and the promise of gold should he do it swiftly, he led them out of the dark mines right to the gates of Anvil. Roscoe, being the man of generosity that he is, paid Drasun and sent him on his merry way.

But alas! Another obstacle presented itself upon reaching the gates of Anvil. The dwarfs were inspecting each and every person for the presence of magic items, considering them to be of their property! So, banishing is inter-dimensional blade, Roscoe came up with a cunning plan to hide the Oaken Box of Doom in a sack of rice being carried by a half retarded Orc. And of course Roscoe was then submitted to a “Random inspection”, by the racist dwarven gate guard. Upon a most…thorough inspection, the inspector confiscated Roscoe’s precious medicine.

    While looking for a Artificer to improve a couple minor magical items, Roscoe set up a book signing for a discount by wooing the lovely half elf behind the counter at Meridia’s Marvelous Magical Musings. Rosoe was so successful, that he let the party deal with other matters on their own for once, against his better judgement, and took Meridia out on a date. It turns out she used to be “Meridia the Mage”, a mage of some small local renown, they had a generally lovely time together. In the morning, Roscoe left a letter for her on her pillow and went to set back out on his adventure, for Roscoe is beholden to no one.

Will Roscoe deliver the Oaken Box? Where did his comrades go? When will he finally procure a new grappling hook! Find out this and more in the next episode of Roscoe Tosscobble, Gentleman Adventurer!

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